My Baby, My Baby
Cayleigh was perfect in every way. I couldn’t stop staring at her sweet little face and that this moment was even here. I couldn’t believe I was holding her and I had this opportunity to be her mom. Being her mom was the greatest honor the Lord had done. I couldn’t put her down, I would just hold her and whisper how I would fight for her and for us to have the best life we could. We had so many friends and family come to see her and me. I didn’t realize how many people loved us. They brought sweet gifts and we had to take a photo and every single person who held her while at the hospital.
The lies, guilt, and shame didn’t go away the moment I got saved. They would yield their ugly head most of the time when I was alone. Those lies I believed for so long were strongholds in my life. It was going to take some time to replace those with the goodness of God and His voice of truth. For almost eight months I had these nightmares and prior to that I had years of negative self-talk and listening to the wrong voice. I recognized this voice of shame very often. This voice was a liar and this voice tried to take my life. This voice was very much a voice that wanted to kill, steal, and destroy.
The devil knows what purposes God has for you and he will try anything to defeat you from finding out who you really are in Christ. I was having these mixed emotions after I got saved. Things weren’t better. One particular evening, I was on my way home with Cayleigh in the backseat. The voices of shame started, “You are such a bad mom, you cannot even afford to buy diapers, what a failure you are.” I couldn't help but yell out, “JESUS, where are you?”
I was so broken and the enemy was working overtime. If I drive my car off this road NO ONE WILL MISS YOU said this small lying voice. Everyone has left me, my friends, Cayleigh’s dad, I have no one. I felt like I had nowhere to turn. Could I be the only one going through this?
In that moment I heard a very different voice that shook me---I SEE YOU. I knew very well it was the voice of God, the Holy Spirit, my helper. I wanted to die and end all this hurt and pain, but God. He does something beautiful when we face various trials. He was refining me and my life for His purposes. He reached down and drew me out of the pit that I was in and saved me.
On this National Day of Prayer
On this National Day of Prayer, I reflect on the transformative power of prayer and the impact it has on lives like mine and the families that have walked through our doors and will continue to do so. Your prayers, service, and financial contributions serve as beacons of hope for struggling mothers and fathers, reaffirming their worth and the value of their pre-born children. You provide essential support, offering free ultrasounds and standing alongside families in their journey towards parenthood.
Your generosity extends beyond individual lives; it strengthens the very fabric of our community, fostering resilience, hope, and love. Together, we break free from cycles of struggle and empower families to thrive. Thank you for being a source of compassion and support, illuminating the path towards transformation, one life at a time. Join us as we continue this journey of empowerment and hope.